Birth story

On the night of 5/4/13 at approximately 11:30pm, 30 minutes after laying down to bed, I felt a gush of warm fluid and knew immediately that my water had broken.  The day had been pretty uneventful with no real regular contractions.  At the time my water broke, I did not feel any contractions at all.  My parents were staying overnight with us by chance, which worked out great - so we didn't have to panic about taking care of Nathan and my Mom was able to be with me every step of the way.  Stephen got up and got everything ready and loaded in the car.  I was a bit in shock, even though I knew the time was coming.
We arrived at the hospital a few minutes after midnight.  They put me on the monitor and at first my contractions were spaced out, but they didn't feel that intense, but within a short amount of time they were regular at 3-4 min apart.  I was still only dilated to about 3.5cm upon arrival. The intensity of the contractions didn't really pick up until 4am.  Once it did, the pain was really hard to manage.  I called for the epidural a little after 5am and opted not to do any IV drugs.  I was dilated to 4.5cm at that time.  Stephen stayed in the room with me while the epidural was placed, that was completed about 6:30am.  I could then feel a contraction coming on, but the intensity was gone :)
They checked me again around 9am and I was at 9cm dilated.  By close to 11am I was at 10cm and ready to begin pushing.  I did not get any sleep at all after arriving at the hospital and was feeling pretty exhausted by the time I was ready to push.  I thought that it wouldn't take a lot of time to push the baby out - I was wrong....  The pushing phase lasted over 2 hours.  My mom kept track of each round of 3 pushes, there were 36 rounds for a total of 108 pushes until baby came out.  I was utterly exhausted during this time and begged for the doctor to just pull him out of me.  I screamed, I panicked, I felt like I couldn't do anymore, I cried....  I know that labor is painful, but I didn't think that with the epidural that I would feel a pain like that, everyone says "you can still feel the  pressure, its just pressure" - they are liars.  This was pain like I've never felt before in my entire life.    The doctor that delivered Nolan was not my OB, but she stayed with me the entire time and coached me through.  Nolan was born at 1:06pm on 5/5/13 weighing 7 lbs, 7oz and 20 inches long.  I can't even describe the relief and joy I felt when they put him on my belly after I pushed him out.  He was beautiful and had his eyes open looking at me.  Doctor had to use a vacuum to help assist him out because he kept dropping low in my pelvis when I pushed, and I had an episiotomy. 
I had to have quite a few stitches.  When I first was able to get out of bed and into the restroom, I ended up passing out while washing my hands.  It was a really rough day!
We were discharged the next day on 5/6/13 later in the afternoon.  Nolan is doing great and we are working on breastfeeding.  He did keep us up all night long our first night home....
Nathan is adjusting well to his new little brother.  We are one blessed family!

38 weeks - where is my baby?

This morning marks 38 weeks.  I am in complete shock that I'm still pregnant...  At my last appt on thursday morning I was 3cm dilated and 90% effaced.  I fully expected to go into labor within the next 24 hours after that, especially considering it was a full moon.  Here I sit, 3 days later!  Last night contractions were 20-30 minutes apart all night long.  Right now, contractions are 9 minutes apart.  I am to call the doctor when they reach 5 min apart, or when my water breaks.  I've eaten spicy foods, done housework, walked around outside, etc.  all in an attempt to get things moving!  Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that I've been able to carry this baby to term - but now am anxious and ready to hold the little guy and bring him home with me :)  This has been a really long journey.... I'm tired of sitting around the house and am growing more uncomfortable with each passing day.

Today is my brother's birthday and tomorrow is my husband's.  So if Nolan is born within the next 48 hours, he will share a birthday!  It wouldn't surprise me considering that Nathan shares his birthday with the date of my parent's anniversary.

In other news, I am still awaiting a date for my interview at the university.  What will stink is if they try to set it up for a date right after the baby is born.  I will be nursing, so it will be pretty hard to try to coordinate that when I won't have an overflow stash established for bottle feeding, and I was told that the interview would be an all day affair.

Progressing

I had a bout of really strong contractions on Tuesday night that lasted for about 5 hours.  They started around 6pm and lasted until shortly after 11pm.  I was timing them and they did get to about 3-4 minutes apart, but then subsided again and spaced further out.  I decided to go into the doctor office on Wednesday to get checked out.  I am now 2cm dilated and 75% effaced.  The doctor is predicting that I will go into true labor sometime next week.  I am just hoping to make it through the weekend because my doctor will not be on call.  I really want my own doctor to deliver this baby since I've been through so much with this pregnancy.  On top of that, she is very supportive about attempting a VBAC.

Stephen brought up the carseats and Pack n Play.  I've got everything cleaned up and ready to go.

My grandmother is in the hospital.  I've been saying prayers that she will be alright.  Seems that her confusion has gotten worse.  I'm hoping that it clears, otherwise it sounds to me like she may have dementia that is progressing.  I fear that my grandfather won't be able to take care of her, and he is being very stubborn about getting help at home. 

I may be interviewing for another position - it depends on when it can be scheduled.  Hopefully it will be before the baby because I'm not sure I'll be able to do it within the first few weeks that I'm home nursing.

I am definitely feeling ready for this baby to come.  Now all he has to do is decide to arrive and be healthy when he pops out!  Doctor said "mark my words, your labor will be about 4 hours"  That would be amazing!

Unbelievable - 36 weeks!

I can't believe that I've actually made it to 36 weeks today!  After all the scares and almost 15 weeks of bedrest restrictions, we are now in the clear to deliver.  I didn't have to get my progesterone shot this past thursday and yesterday was my last day of procardia.  I imagine that my contractions will probably pick up now that the meds have been d/c'd.  Little man could come any day now!  I ordered a few more things for him.  I've got to get the outfits together for the hospital - who knows how big this stinker is going to be!  Stephen seems to think he's going to be a big boy...

Nathan is feeling better and has been able to attend all his activities this week.  At swimming, they put lifevests on the kids and Nathan swam across the pool with only a few nudges from the teacher - I was so proud!  He has one more week of swim and then we'll take a break for 6 weeks.  I'd love to keep him in, but with the baby coming it may be difficult to get out for a few weeks, especially since I plan on breastfeeding/pumping.  He still has his Tumblebears class until the end of May - he really enjoys that.  I think these boys are going to keep me quite busy with sports/activities!

Stephen is now sick with a head cold.  I'm hoping he can kick it before the baby arrives.  It's been 3 days already.  The crappy weather here isn't helping a bit.  Today it is supposed to be sunny and 51 - which is the best it has been all week!  You'd think spring was never going to arrive here...

Job update:  I heard back from the outpatient clinic.  They have an immediate need, so are deciding to hire someone right away.  The owner told me to contact him in June when I'm ready and they will work something out because he really would like to have me on the team - although it may only be part time.  That may actually work if my current position would allow me to drop to part time.  I wasn't willing to drive to Standish for the new clinic anyway, so this may be perfect.  We'll see.  In the meantime, I received an email from the Department Chair at the university who told me about another position and "strongly encouraged" me to apply.  So I immediately applied for that position.  Maybe I'll get lucky and get my foot in the door there.  Sure would be better than having to drive to Flint for adjunct this summer.

35 weeks!

I can't believe that I've actually made it to 35 weeks!  When I went on bedrest at 21 weeks, our goal was just to get to 30.  Of course I was setting much smaller goals for myself, but the doctor was shooting for 30.  Once we got there, the next goal was 34 - and I've surpassed that!  It's unbelievable that all these contractions haven't made my body progress.  God is definitely watching over us :)  I will be ecstatic if we can make it to 36...

Nathan has been sick all weekend which has made things very difficult at home.  He spiked a fever of over 102 that wouldn't go down with medication.  Needless to say, Stephen and I were both worried and didn't get much sleep.  This morning it was 101.9, but by this afternoon has subsided to 99.5.  I gave him a breathing treatment since I noticed wheezing after he got up this morning.  That seemed to help with the cough quite a bit.  I hope that we can get through tomorrow with no fever at all - I hate when he has to miss school.  He's cooped up in this house enough as it is!

Another day closer

I had my doctor appt yesterday morning.  Still at 1cm and 40%, holding steady!  I find it pretty amazing considering how many contractions I've been having.  I'm hopeful that we'll make it to Sunday when I'll hit 35 weeks.  Doctor's goal is 36 - she said we have a better chance of avoiding the NICU.  I have to stay on the procardia until then and have one more progesterone shot next Thursday.  I'll be so happy to get off these meds!

Diapers have arrived and all the clothes are ready.  I still have to pack a bag for the hospital and we have to bring up the pack/play with bassinet.  We also still have to go get the swing from my MIL's house since we never moved it here.  Not too much left to prepare.  Really we only have a couple weeks left, even if I do make it to term! 

Hanging in there!

It is now Tuesday - and I'm 34 weeks 2 days today :)  I made it through the weekend!  I have been  having more contractions that are feeling different, but not especially more intense.  I'm trying to be more conscious of timing them because my normal is anywhere from 4-10 min apart, so I've become more accustomed to ignoring them at this point.  My belly turns rock hard whenever I stand up, and I'm trying hard to stay off my feet, but I am  having a really hard time staying down constantly.  I did end up taking Nathan to daycare today because it is easier to have him there then at home with me all day.  I'll take him again on thursday if we make it that far.  My doctor appt is that morning, so I'll be interested to see if I've dilated anymore.  I had a dream last night that I was at 3-4cm and fully effaced.  Everytime I get up I wonder if my water is going to break....
I've been watching A Baby Story on TLC the past few days.  Some of these women look just like me when the labor starts - geez, I wish I knew what was going to happen!  It would be great if we could make it to another Sunday, then there will be less of a chance of going to the NICU.  I think it would be pretty possible to bring Nolan home at that point!!

My family came up on Sunday and we had a great Easter.  The kids had a lot of fun.  My Mom pretty much spent the day in the kitchen - I am so grateful that my family was able to prepare the entire meal for us :)  They even left the leftovers so we wouldn't have to cook for a few days!!  My Mom also helped me bring up most of the baby clothes and supplies that I will need right away and we got one of our dressers cleared out and rearranged with baby stuff.  Makes me feel a little more prepared.

I went online and ordered diapers and wipes, so we should be all set.  I also ordered some breastfeeding supplies since I'll have to start pumping for when I do finally return to work.

I have been able to sleep a little better the past 2 nights, which is such a relief.  I'm still getting up constantly to use the bathroom, but am able to fall asleep easier when returning to bed.  Nathan has been going to bed a little better the past few nights as well, which helps tremendously.  Although, he did get up again last night and his Daddy let me eat some chips, so it wasn't until after 9pm when he finally went down.  He did poop on the potty again last night too - hooray!

Dilating

Well, Thursday's appt didn't go as planned.  My doctor came in very optimistic, until she checked my cervix.  I am now dilated at 1cm and 40% effaced.  Doc said that many women can sit dilated for quite some time before going into active labor, but considering my history and the fact that I have pretty regular contractions everyday, it isn't looking like I'm going to make it much further.  I was sent up to L&D for my 1st steroid shot right away and returned this morning for the 2nd.  I'm also supposed to be on strict bedrest, doctor told me that I have to hand over all of my "mommy duties" immediately and keep my butt on the couch.  Unfortunately, I really don't have that option since my support system doesn't seem to get it and isn't helping me in the ways that I really need it.  Not to say that he isn't doing anything...I just find myself still taking care of a lot when it comes to Nathan.

I couldn't sleep again last night and was up most of the night worrying.  I'm told to call my doctor again if anything changes - but I still struggle with that idea because I do contract all the time.  My next appt isn't until Thursday again.  At that point I will be 34 weeks 4 days.  Just praying that we can make it to 36.  The nurse today told me that they delivered a 35 weeker who is doing just great and was under 5 lbs yesterday, so that was encouraging!

I have so much organizing that I want to get done before the baby arrives.  My parents will be here tomorrow afternoon and have offered to help, so hopefully we can find the items that I need brought up from the basement and get most of the baby stuff organized so that we're ready.  I also need to put together my hospital bag.  I've decided not to bother with a birth plan, since I have a feeling everything is going to happen on the fly anyway.

I'm looking forward to family coming up for Easter Sunday, it will be nice to have the company.  And I don't have to do any cooking :)  My sister-in-law has promised to make me a cheesecake too - so I'm looking forward to a slice of that!

I did have an interview with the outpatient clinic in town.  I have a lot of thinking to do - I know that they do not want to pay me what I'm making now.  I got all the info on deductions for benefits.  They have a great medical plan that will cost a whole lot less than I'm currently paying.  But - they want me to travel to their Standish location 2x per week, which is essentially 45min-1hr away.  The vacation plan isn't great and 401K doesn't start until after 1 yr.  Also no medical at all for the first 90 days.  Upside is that the owner said full-time means full-time, they don't send people home, there are always things to do.  So I need to do some praying on this one and determine if it would be the right move for me.  I did email my supervisor to try to feel out what the status is at work, but with the history of the company policies, I don't completely trust anything that they may say.

Can't sleep

So I feel like insomnia is setting in.  I have a terrible time getting to sleep at night - even though I feel exhausted.  Once I do fall asleep, I become so uncomfortable and wake so frequently to change positions or to use the bathroom, that it feels more like I've taken a short nap.  Bathroom breaks during the night are once an hour.  It is also becoming more and more difficult to turn over and to get my big pregnant butt out of bed.  I was using a body pillow at one point, but it didn't seem to help, so I've ditched it.  I also have to try to sleep with my shoulders elevated due to heartburn.  Oh the joys of pregnancy!

Even though I am on modified bedrest, I sure don't feel like I can rest much.  Maybe if I didn't have a toddler it would be different.  I'm also becoming more and more anxious to get things prepared for the baby's arrival.  I'm starting to stress out.

I got a call today from the outpatient clinic that I had dropped off my resume to last week.  I will be interviewing tomorrow afternoon!  The clinic is so close to home, it would be a perfect work location.  They are very innovative in their therapy and I'm hopeful that if I do get the position, I will have the opportunity to obtain continuing education in some of the areas that I was hoping to get certified in.  I worked hard on updating my portfolio today and feel prepared.  I gave the office manager a heads up that I am expecting and am not looking to start right away - so hopefully they will be agreeable to my timeframe.

33 weeks - warning TMI pregnancy details for some...

Made it through another week!  I did make another trip up to L&D this morning but everything checked out ok.  Last night I noticed was having some increased mucousy stuff, so of course everytime I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I was nervous that I was going to see blood.  No bleeding, but significant amount to alarm me.  I called this morning and they wanted to be sure that there were no cervical changes, so I went in.  Contractions were 7-8 min apart when I got there and 4-5 min apart when I left.  This is pretty standard for me, so the on-call doctor was ok with sending me home since cervix was still closed.  I'm to go in again if the contractions get more intense or won't go away.  I just shook my head, because sometimes they don't stop for 3 hours at a time.  How in the heck am I supposed to know if its serious or not? 

I did find out during this visit that after 34 weeks they will not do any steroid injections for the lungs or magnesium to slow/stop labor.  So if after next Sunday, Nolan decides to make his entrance, then I guess he will be able to without any interventions.

I missed church this morning, which I was bummed about because it was Palm Sunday.  Hopefully everything will remain very stable this next week and I'll be able to make Easter mass.

Nathan update - he went poop on the potty last night again, hooray!!

Still baking

Doctor appt went well today.  She said she will keep me on both the progesterone and procardia until I hit 36 weeks.  I had an ultrasound for cervical length check, it was 2.4cm.  So down 0.4 from last check 2 weeks ago, but its not at its shortest that I've had.  I've had a lot more low pressure and contractions wrap around my back now.  I asked the doctor how I'm supposed to differentiate since my normal is other women's active labor?  She told me that if it is more painful or feels "different" to me.  I'm still having contractions throughout the day, sometimes for 3 hours or more at a time.  I'm glad to have made it this far but boy am I becoming uncomfortable.  Only 3 1/2 more weeks till I hit 36!  I see doctor again next week.  Not sure if she will continue with cervical length checks and fetal fibronectin testing or not...

Job update:  Heard back from my faculty interview, I didn't get it - but they did say "We were very impressed with you."  and offered me an adjunct position.  I told them that I'd take it beginning in the summer.  So looks like I will teach another class or two.  I'll gain experience that way which will help me in the future.  I applied for the university faculty position but haven't heard anything yet.  I also applied at an outpatient clinic that is really near our home.   I have faith that God will place me where I need to be and everything will turn out ok.

I've been a little more grumpy than usual - I'm getting stir crazy being cooped up.  I think the weather has something to do with it as well.  Sure would be nice to be able to get outside for a little while!  My MIL has been doing a lot of cleaning for me - but she drives me nuts because she takes an excessively long time to complete anything and doesn't do things like I would.  I know - I sound like an ungrateful B)&$%.  I truly do appreciate the help, but I'm over having someone in my space all day long.  I can't wait until I can get up and do things without having immediate contractions as a result.

I think that we will have a new truck parked in our garage next week.  Stephen found one that he is most likely going to purchase on Monday.  At least we will now have 2 safe vehicles to transport the boys in.  I drove my Taurus for 10 years and Stephen has had his truck for 12 now.  It was definitely time for us to trade up.

I ordered Nathan some new clothes for spring, and Nolan a new outfit to come home from the hospital.  Our neighbor has a boy 2 years older than Nathan and gave me a bunch of clothing last fall -which was such a blessing and saved me a lot of money.  But there is nothing like picking out your own stuff for your children, it makes me happy :)  I'm totally addicted to Gymboree.

32 weeks

Made it to another goal!  I'm taking it week by week now.  I scheduled myself a pedicure as a reward for making it this far.  My doctor appt on thursday went well, and the fetal fibronectin test that she did came back negative on Friday.  So that should buy me another week (I hope).  Next appt is on thursday for check and ultrasound.

Nathan is on the mend, had a follow up appt on Friday and everything checked out fine.  He is on his final day of antibiotics.  Last night he was coughing again quite a bit though, so not sure what's up with that.  I just want him to be 100%!

Yesterday was difficult.  I took Nathan to his swim class and after I got home, Stephen was gone.  I figured he was out on an errand that he previously discussed with me.  After a few hours had gone by, I called to check his status.  He had completed the errand and was out with the neighbor, said they were going to go looking around at some other stuff.  Didn't think much of it, although was a little irritated that I'm supposed to have some help here, but the guy deserves a little time to himself.  Well after another 5 hours, I decided to call again.  He's still out having some beers.  He was gone a total of 8.5 hours without checking in on me and no heads up at all.  I was/am so pissed.  I'm not mad that he wanted to go hang out with a friend - more mad that there was no consideration to call and check in, or let me know ahead of time.  Who cares that I'm supposed to be on bedrest with activity restrictions with an active 3 yr old at home right??  Ok vent over.

Since we were running out of things in the house, I decided to go to the grocery store after church today (not supposed to be doing that either).  But I'm so pissed off that I'm not going to ask my husband for anything.  My body totally lets me know it when I overdo.....and I definitely overdid it.  Have been having constant contractions that started at the store.  On top of that, Nathan dropped his really nice winter hat somewhere in the store as well.  Hoping the customer service desk will contact me if someone turns it in, although I have a feeling that someone probably picked up and kept it.

On the bright side, when I got home from church, I hear hammering downstairs.  Good sign - Stephen is working on framing the basement walls.  I'll be so relieved when its done and we can get the spray foam insulation completed.  Our basement is huge and it will be such a blessing to have it as a more livable space instead of just storage.

Contractions...

The past few days I've had stronger and more frequent contractions, they are starting to wrap all the way around my back.  I've gotten a little off schedule with my procardia, but am still taking it.  I've had a few occasions where I've forgotten and then remembered an hour or so later, so its altered my 6 hour routine a bit.  I've just been adjusting the time once I remember to take it.  Yesterday I allowed myself an outing with my Mom.  We went to the movies.  I figured it would be a safe outing since I just had to go inside and sit for a few hours.  The baby was moving like crazy though and I ended up having to get up and use the bathroom 4x during the movie!  Then in the evening contractions started up pretty severe for almost 3 1/2 hours.  I finally was able to get some sleep, but was tempted more than a couple times to call the doctor.  I just hate to have to go in to L&D again to get checked out.  Seems like its becoming a routine, every 2 weeks.  I was there at 27, then at 29, now I'm 31 and having issues again.  I have to go get my shot tomorrow and I decided that I'm going to ask the doctor to check me and do another Ffn test to be sure that everything is ok.  I don't feel comfortable going any distance away from my doctor unless I have a negative Ffn test within the past week or so, and its been over 2 weeks since my last one.
Nathan seems to be feeling better, I'm so glad.  He definitely doesn't want to nap for me anymore though.  Makes it hard when I'm home alone with him, and he hasn't been falling asleep well at night - and getting up early.  I think it will be better once the weather warms up and we can get him outside to burn off some energy.  I'd love for it to start to warm up, then I could sit outside for a bit.  Definitely going stir crazy inside the house all the time.

31 weeks

I made it another week!  I decided that if I make it to 32, then I'm going to treat myself to a pedicure.  My feet are in pretty rough shape, and it is pretty difficult for me to reach them!  Then at least they will look good for when I deliver this little guy. 
Nathan was wheezing on Thursday night, so Friday I decided to take him in to get checked out.  He had to have a breathing treatment at the office, then we were prescribed a nebulizer with albuterol for home use as well as prednisone for 4 days and antibiotic for a sinus infection.  This visit by far took the longest, we left the house at 10:20am and didn't get back until 1:45pm.  I was on my feet way too much and ended up having very frequent contractions for about 4 hours straight.  I decided not to call the doctor because the intensity was very similar to what I've already been experiencing, and my last visits to L&D I checked out ok, despite the contractions.  Thankfully the contractions ended up subsiding with rest.  Not much I could have done about it - Nathan needed me.
I've been resting all weekend, we had to skip Nathan's first session of swim for spring and stayed home from church today.  I'm hoping that he feels better by Tuesday so that he can go to school and won't miss out on the weeks activities.  It's a bummer to be cooped up all day when the weather is a bit warmer today - I would love to go for a walk!
Still no word on the job front.  I'm starting to re-vamp my portfolio in case I get called for another interview for faculty.  I should be able to get it all done this week.  I did get approved for long-term disability and was pleasantly surprised that it will include 6-8 weeks of maternity leave after the baby is born.  Now I just have to get to full-term!  I'm getting pretty darn close now - only 6 more weeks to go until I'm at the magic 37....

No change

I'm now 30 weeks 4 days!  Made the 30 week goal!  My dear friend dropped off a celebration cake for me - which is delicious :)  I'm taking my goals in 2 week increments.  Next up - 32 weeks!  Doctor's goal is 34 and I sure hope we make that one too.  I had my appt today, everything is remaining the same, so I should be able to make it past the 31 mark this Sunday.  No fetal fibronectin test this week though.  I'm continuing on the same medications.  I really hate the procardia, but it may be helping more than I realize, so doc doesn't want to discontinue it yet.  I have 6 more progesterone shots to go, they were prescribed up until week 36.  If I make it that far, I should be able to bring Nolan home with me with no NICU stay!!!

My parents came up for a visit yesterday and made us dinner.  I was so glad to have them here.  I miss being able to go down to their house for the occasional visit, I'm afraid to be too far away from the hospital if anything should happen.

Nathan has another cough going.  I sure hope it doesn't turn into anything serious.  Seems like every week we are battling one symptom or another.  No fever, so that's a good sign.  I got his application for preschool for next year.  I'm thinking of enrolling him in an afternoon session - since he refuses to nap most of the time for me anyway.  His teacher is calling in a referral for speech therapy.  He has been stuttering since around December and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.  Hopefully we can get an evaluation scheduled soon since I know they don't provide EI services over the summer months.

Still no word on the job front.  There are new faculty openings closer to home though that I just applied for - so maybe that's what God has in store for me :) 

Rough week

This week has been particularly trying for me.  Sunday during church I began having contractions/cramping which continued throughout the day.  When I timed them, they ranged from 7 to 13 min apart.  Monday afternoon I had more of the same, although it seemed a little more constant and I wasn't able to time them well.  By Tuesday I was getting concerned and decided to call.  I had the news that my fetal fibronectin test was negative, so I was hesitant to call, but they ended up sending me to labor and delivery.  When I got there my contractions were 4-5 min apart.  Everything seemed to check out ok, my ultrasound showed shortening to 2.0cm but it was closed.  When I left the hospital my contractions were 2 min apart, but with no cervical change I decided to go home with the permission of my doctor.  So wednesday I called again because the cramping/contractions only let up for 2 hours overnight and into the morning.  I got sent in again.  Everything checked out ok.  The doctor reassured me that it was perfectly ok to call and we should be checking if something doesn't feel right.  The procardia doesn't seem to be helping me with these contractions, but the doctor said she has no intention of discontinuing it until I hit 36 weeks.  She did further restrict my activities and wants me to do as little as possible.  This is going to be a huge challenge for me....

I will hit 30 weeks on Sunday!  I will be very happy to have made it that far.  Stephen reminded me that he was perfectly content with how our family was before the pregnancy, and that he did not want to go through all of this again.  I know he is stressed about all the complications that I've had - I didn't even call him when I went to the hospital yesterday.  He hasn't been to a single doctor appt with me this pregnancy and refused to attend any of the labor classes that I wanted to go to (my first pregnancy we only made it to the first one, then Nathan came that week).  So I'm not exactly feeling supported.  He is stepping up with caring for Nathan though, cooking and cleaning up the kitchen.  He had to go grocery shopping once - which was nervewracking for me - I like to be in control of that stuff.

Job update - I emailed today since I hadn't heard anything.  They emailed back and said there was a mix up with one of the resume's and the final candidate will interview today.  Determination will be made today or tomorrow.  I was asked if I would be interested in adjunct if I were not the chosen candidate - he said he forgot to ask that during my interview.  Hoping that isn't a sign that I didn't get it.

Positive news

Yesterday's doctor appts went very well.  I started off at the hospital for a cervical length check.  Improved from 2.3cm to 2.7cm with no funneling!  Then I went to the lab to drink the bottle of orange glucose solution for my gestational diabetes test.  During my 1 hour wait, I saw my OB who did a manual check of my cervix and a fetal fibronectin test.  I was able to get a prescription for a Z-pac for my sinus cold, so hopefully that will knock it out!  I'll find out the results of the fetal fibronectin today.  Negative results mean there is a 98% chance of not going into labor within the next 7 days, positive results are 33% chance that you will go into labor.  So the negative result is a more accurate determinant.  So far, all of mine have come back negative.  Assuming that this one is negative as well, I'll see the doctor again in 2 weeks and have another ultrasound, fetal fibronectin - but at that point I will be 30 weeks!!!  My good friend said she is going to bring me a cake when I hit it, so I'm really looking forward to that :)  I've been craving sweets again like crazy but have been refraining since I had a 9lb weight gain in a 2 week period.  This checkup I only gained 1 lb over a 16 day period, so I was relieved.

Nathan update - we are still working on the potty training for pooping.  He actually did a great job earlier in the week and went poop on the potty with some coaxing.  We praised and rewarded him like crazy.  Since then, he has been resisting again.  Last night he was running in circles and we knew it was time since it had been quite a few days - but he refused to let it out despite spending nearly an hour on the potty.  At bedtime, he comes out of his room "Guess what - I pooped in my pants." 

Job update - should hear something today or early next week :)

New Car!

Yesterday after dropping Nathan off at preschool, I went out to the dealership to see a few of the vehicles that I'd been looking at.  I ended up being able to get the discount from my Uncle and drove home a new 2012 Buick Enclave :)  It has a ton of bells and whistle that are going to take me a while to figure out.  I absolutely love it so far!  Bad thing is that I spent the majority of my day at the dealer trying to get everything squared away - I wasn't expecting that I would be actually buying the vehicle yesterday.  So early that morning I had filled up my gas tank in the Taurus (total waste of money) and I hadn't cleaned out the car at all.  On top of that it was freezing cold outside and snowing, so I was out bending and lifting way too much.  I did have the foresight to bring my medication with me, so I could take that on time.  By the time I left the dealership at 2pm, I was having some pretty good contractions - and I hadn't eaten since the morning.  Contractions continued pretty strong all evening - I was really getting concerned, but tried to convince myself that everything would be ok.  Today I've had a few, and feeling more low pressure.  I hope that all the extra activity didn't adversely affect my cervix - but will find out tomorrow morning at 9am.  I did get home from the dealership only to realize that I left my garage door opener in the Taurus.  Luckily for me, the dealer was nice enough to send a runner out to bring it to me.  Also  had a glitch in the seat adjustment, poor Nathan got his little legs smashed when the seat automatically went back and reclined before I could do anything to stop it.  Stephen fixed that setting as soon as he got home.  Nathan just kept saying "don't hurt me with the seat Momma"  the whole ride home and kept his feet out to the side....I felt so bad!

28 and 1

Well, tomorrow I will have carried this baby 2 weeks further than my first pregnancy - woohoo!!!  We're getting there :)  I am noticing that I'm getting more contractions as the time nears to take my procardia.  Once I take it, they subside within an hour.  Hoping that it isn't having an adverse affect on my cervix.  I'll find out on Thursday.

I caught a cold from Nathan.  So far it's staying in my sinuses, but boy am I miserable.  I'm so stuffed up and with it being winter, the air is so dry that I am coughing.  I haven't slept for more than 2 hours in the past 2 nights between having to pee every 15 minutes, unable to breathe, and being generally uncomfortable all night long.  Hopefully this cold will only last a few days or so.  Definitely not fun being sick and pregnant!
Nathan seems to be feeling a bit better today, but we can run the humidifier in his room all night long.  My husband made us chicken noodle soup for dinner last night, which was really nice.

I've been doing quite a bit of research online for a new vehicle.  I really want to get it taken care of before months end.  New vehicle prices are out of control expensive - not looking forward to having a car payment again.  I haven't had one since 2008!  A new car is a must-have though before the baby gets here.  My AC compressor in my Taurus broke in early fall, and there is no way that I'm going to drive that car anymore when warmer weather hits.  The boys would roast!  My Uncle is retired from GM, so I'm praying that he can get me the discount in order to get what I want at an affordable price.

I'm anxious to hear at the end of the week whether or not I am offered the faculty position.  Still hopeful that it will all work out :)

Hospital stay

Tuesday night I began having contractions (which felt like severe menstrual cramps) around 9pm.  They repeated approximately every 5 minutes.  At 9:35pm I decided to call the doctor.  I was sent to labor and delivery to be checked out.  When I got there, they put me on a monitor and my contractions were every 2 minutes.  I had 2 nurses check my cervix -  one told me I was a fingertip dilated, the other said that I wasn't dilated but had no thickness left to my cervix.  Talk about feeling panicked!  Doctor was called and I was given 20mg of Procardia to slow/stop the contractions.  I was also sent down for an ultrasound to check cervical length.  Fortunately, the ultrasound showed my cervix at 2.3cm and closed - which isn't great, but at least I wasn't in danger of imminent delivery.  My contractions however didn't stop, so I was given another dose of Procardia an hour after the 1st dose.  The medicine definitely decreased the intensity for a while, but I was still having them until around 3am.  I was told that I had to stay overnight to be monitored.  I was extremely uncomfortable the entire night and barely slept.  By 8:30 the next morning I wasn't feeling any contractions, although the monitor showed a few sporadically.  I was sent home with more restrictions on my activities and a prescription for procardia to be taken every 6 hrs.

Since coming home yesterday morning I have had a few contractions, but nothing regular.  The procardia makes me feel pretty lousy, I've had a headache that won't go away..  I'm having difficulty sleeping as well.  The good news is that I can still take Nathan back and forth as long as I'm seated if he is at an activity.  Stephen made dinner last night and cleaned the kitchen completely afterward, which was really nice.

I did hear from the college regarding the position that I interviewed for - they have a few more candidates and will be making their decision next Friday the 22nd.  I'm still hopeful that I get it, although stressed about how I would make it work during this pregnancy.  Gotta give this one up to God and see what he comes up with for me :)

Contractions

This morning was the first time I had more than 4 contractions in an hour.  I was in church and had at least 5 during the mass.  Nothing terribly painful - just the tightening and pressure.  I then had to stop at the grocery store because Nathan was out of milk and had a couple more.  Since I returned home, I've only had a few, but am definitely feeling uncomfortable.  I'm hoping to be able to take it easy the rest of the day....

Insurance update:  Finally received a call!!  The rep stated that they put the gap exception in place for the local hospital here with the NICU and my maternal fetal medicine specialist.  What a relief.  Now I know that if anything happens, I don't have to worry about trying to coordinate anything.

I'm really excited that I've made it to 27 weeks today :)  Hoping for no complications this week and that I'm able to make it to 28! 

No snow

Pregnancy update:  fetal fibronectin test done on tuesday came back negative.  Cervical ultrasound showed shortening again, back to 2.7cm, but no funneling.  Not sure what the doctor is going to do, 2.7cm is where I was at week 22-23.  My next appt isn't until Feb 21st, so maybe she'll order another test next week.  I've been feeling the same, get occasional cramping and contractions.

Job update:  had my interview for faculty position today.  Luckily the snow stayed away this afternoon so I didn't have to worry so much about the drive.  The interview process went well.  I had to do a teaching demonstration first for the panel of 6 people, and then they took turns asking me questions.  When I left, the Associate Dean told me that it went really well.  Now the only issue will be if they want to hire a  pregnant lady who is expecting to give birth anytime within the next 13 weeks.  They have 2 other prospective hires to interview next week, so I should hear either next Friday or early the following week.  I know they want someone to start for spring semester, which would begin April 1st.  I'd have a lot to think about and would need permission from my doctor in order to begin working somewhere else.  Would also eliminate the possibility of short term disability/long term disability for the remainder of the pregnancy and after the baby is born.

On an unrelated note -I blasted my big toe about a week ago when I kicked Nathan's toy plane by accident.  The darn thing has been bugging me, but today I noticed that it is all red and swollen, and the toenail is black/blue.  Not sure if I need to go get it looked at.  I sure hope it isn't infected somehow - that would really stink!  I had to ice the stupid thing last night because it was throbbing so much.  Unbelievable how such pain can come from such a little body part.

Insurance update:  Looks like they reprocessed my claim from maternal fetal medicine in December and have sent out an additional payment.  This, despite the fact that they denied my appeal.  So something must have happened, but  nobody has contacted me to let me know.  I tried to call today but nobody ever answered the line once I was transferred....go figure.

So for the next week, I'm going to take it easy.  Hopefully my cervix will remain at the current length so this baby will keep baking.  The progesterone shots are becoming more painful each week, I'll be glad when those are done!

26 and 2

Today was the day in my first pregnancy that I had Nathan.  As of right now, I've carried this baby 3.5 hours longer :)  Every additional day I have after this is a blessing!  I saw the doctor today.  She ran another fetal fibronectin and I will have a cervical length ultrasound on Thursday morning.  I'll continue to go in for weekly progesterone shots until week 36, and next doctor appt isn't until the 21st,  I'll do my glucose testing that day as well.  I gained 9 lbs since my last visit 2 1/2 weeks ago.  Doctor said not to be too concerned since I've grown so much.  I need to lay off the sweets!!

My short term disability appears to be approved until April 11th.  So I don't have to go through any more paperwork or headaches until then.  At that point, I guess I'll have to pray that long-term disability gets approved.  I should be around 35-36 weeks by then if we can make it!

I prepped my presentation for thursday's interview.  I'm going to go over it a few more times to make sure I have it down.  Hopefully I won't be so nervous that I screw it up.  Wondering if they are going to make me go through the entire thing - I would think it would be quite boring for them to sit through since it takes a couple of hours.  We'll see...

Still no word from the insurance company regarding the gap exception.  I sent yet another email....my only option would be to go to Flint to deliver if I wanted to stay in-network.  Yeah, like that is going to happen...who wants to drive 45 minutes when an appropriate hospital is within 20 minutes of your house?

Interview

I did send my resume out for the faculty position that I want, and got a response within the hour yesterday!  I had my first phone interview this afternoon and have passed through to the in-person interview process next week.  The position sounds really promising.  Hopefully I'll be able to impress the hiring committee.  I have to interview with the Program Director, Academic Director, 2 faculty in the OT program and the Associate Dean.  I will also have to do a teaching presentation as part of the interview.  At least I have a little time on my hands to prepare the whole thing....  I didn't mention that I was pregnant - they didn't ask.  Guess they'll figure that out as soon as they see me walk in!

Now this baby just needs to stay put and I need to be symptom free for the next week!  This Sunday will be the 26 week mark, I never made it past that with Nathan....  Stephen said he found a picture taken of me 2 days before Nathan was born, looking at the camera and smiling.  No signs of anything being wrong at all.  I feel that everyday I make it past the 26 week mark will be a blessing.  I plan on taking it very easy and trying to lay down as much as possible.  I got my progesterone shot today and will see the doctor on Tuesday afternoon. 

Nathan is feeling better and went to school today.  He was in a great mood when I picked him up, so I know the time with other little ones did him some good :)  His Grandma is coming to visit tomorrow afternoon, so that will help to keep him occupied.

Frustrated

Nathan has had a low grade fever on and off since Saturday afternoon.  I kept him out of school today since he had a temp last night around 100.  It's weird because he'll go all day without a fever, and when Stephen has checked him in the evening, all of a sudden he has a temp again.  I hate for him to miss school since it is his opportunity to blow of steam and play with other children - he's been cooped up and stuck inside with me!  Plus - I need a break too :)

So yesterday I had some spotting which definitely alarmed me.  My doctor had me go in to the office to check me out.  Looked like everything was fine, they ran a culture and test for UTI.  Haven't heard back yet on the results.  I was having flashbacks of when the same thing happened the morning Nathan was born.  It was especially stressful because I had Nathan with me and dragging a 3 yr old to your doctor appts isn't exactly a good time.   Today I was counting on my mother in law showing up to watch him for a few hours so I could go to my dentist appt.  It was really foggy out and I had a funny feeling that she wasn't going to show.  Sure enough - I get the call 10 minutes before I had to leave that she got lost and couldn't find the road to turn on.  So once again I had to drag Nathan to my appt.  Luckily the girls at the dentist office were wonderful and kept him occupied pretty much the whole time.  It definitely gives me pause with the whole mother-in-law thing though.  She has done so much for us with Nathan - but she can't drive at night or in any other conditions than sunny and dry, and does get sick at the last minute, has anxiety, etc.  Not sure if it is going to be a good idea for her to watch the baby this time around.  Although it would be a huge benefit financially and would be good for her emotionally - I just want some stability and a place that I can count on all the time.  Today I really felt like the only person I can count on to do anything is myself.  If I have to depend on someone else, it usually falls through (which just makes me mad) or I get some sort of flak for it later which makes it not worth it anyway.

I did hear from my case manager, and am getting the same old song and dance - someone is supposed to contact you this week....  The letter that I wrote to appeals failed.  I got a notice today stating that they will not provide the gap exception for my visit to maternal fetal medicine in december - so that $300 bill stands.  Just great.  Loved the reasoning, too - "we understand that you attempted to get the gap exception prior to the visit and that it did not happen"  "gap exceptions need to be completed prior to the visit"  "please see the in-network provider list on the website"  You think????  If there were another provider in the area that was in network, I'd go.  And it was the insurance companies fault that the gap exception didn't occur in the first place - they knew about the appt!!!!  Word to the wise - do not work for anyone who offers United Healthcare for insurance.  We'll see if I actually do get contacted this week as promised.

I did find a position for a job that I'm interested in.  I'm going to apply and see what happens.  It's for faculty teaching OT - which may be really good for me.  Next doctor appt is on Tuesday....

Week 25 tomorrow!

Ultrasound on Thursday was promising!  I improved from 2.7cm to 2.9cm cervical length.  The rest seems to be doing the trick.  Short term disability is approved to 2/1 as of right now.  Next doctor appt is on 1/31, so we'll see what the plan is.  I'm assuming that we'll continue with the fetal fibronectin tests alternating with cervical length checks just to be safe.  Continuing with the progesterone shots weekly until week 36.

I spoke with my boss on Friday - she encouraged me to stay off of work if I can.  Apparently caseload still hasn't picked up, and she said that according to our regional director, she gets to keep her full hours and I will only get the leftover caseload, whatever that may be.  I expressed my concern with FMLA, etc.  However, now I worry that if I do go back, that my status will be reduced and could possibly lose my benefits.  I definitely wouldn't be surprised if they did do this to me - they don't seem to care about their employees at all.  This company is horrible - I will definitely be leaving after the baby is born.  A friend of mine encouraged me to pursue another rehab company in town - I previously had contact with one of the owners during a volunteer experience, so maybe they would remember me.  I plan on updating my resume and sending out a letter to put my feelers out.  Can't hurt right?  Sometimes God sends opportunities our way that we didn't even know were there :)

Still no word on the gap exceptions from the insurance company, big surprise....  I'll probably email my case manager again this week to follow up.

On the home front - still struggling with the whole poop issue with Nathan.  On Tuesday morning he woke up with poop in his pull-up, and yesterday he woke up during nap with the same issue.  I sit him on the potty repeatedly when I see him do his "poop dance"  but he chooses to hold it in - so I guess it has to make its way out sometime, and his body is choosing to do it in his sleep.  UGH!!

Another day

The past few days have been pretty uneventful.  I've had cramping on/off, but am finding it harder to lay down.  I do a lot of sitting, but I know the best thing to do is to lie down on my left side.  I feel like I am up and down a lot, however I do try to pace myself with things and take breaks.  My next appt for cervical length check is tomorrow at 9:30am.  I'm hopeful that it has stayed the same or improved.  I'm still working on getting the gap exceptions in place with the insurance company in case I am sent over to Covenant.  Of course, they haven't done anything yet and I'm emailing back and forth with my case manager to try and get this worked out.  I was hoping that it would have been taken care of before my appt tomorrow.

Despite my husband's ridiculous comments the other morning, he has fixed dinner and cleaned the kitchen for the past 2 nights.  I definitely appreciate the extra help.  I also have to give him credit for attending Nathan's past 2 swim classes with me.  Nathan is in a new class where I don't go into the pool with him - which makes me really nervous.  The first class, Nathan stepped off the ledge and went underwater, the teacher had to save him.  Last class, another kid did the same thing.  There is only 1 instructor for 6 children ages 3-5.  I'm on pins and needles watching, so having my husband there definitely makes me feel better.  Nathan seems to really enjoy the class, but he hops around like a little jumping bean and I worry that he's going to hop right off the ledge again!  I hope that Stephen  continues to attend with me to ease some of my anxiety.

The weather here has been absolutely frigid...  Just dropping off and picking up Nathan from preschool yesterday was awful with the windchill.  At least I don't have to feel guilty about Nathan not being able to go outside!

24 weeks

Yesterday I made it to the 24 week mark!  At least my little guy now has a fighting chance.  Next cervical length check is this thursday.  Hopeful that it has remained the same or has improved some.  I don't think the doctor is going to allow me to return to work unless things stay stable until week 30.

I made a ton of phone calls last week in regards to short term disability, FMLA, etc.  Turns out that my FMLA is running in conjunction with my disability, so my job is only secure for these first 12 weeks.  Not very reassuring...  Short term disability is only approving things week by week, so we'll see how that goes.  I've been approved for 1 week and they were going to contact my doctor's office again.  My company is forcing me to use all of my paid time off accrued.  I had 95.7 hours saved because I wanted to take extra time when the baby came, but I guess that is going to be out of the question now. 

As for my insurance company - I finally got a hold of the case management department and gave them an earful.  My case manager called me back and said that she had the benefits department working on getting the gap exceptions in place for the maternal fetal medicine specialist and the hospital with the NICU.  I haven't heard anything back yet, so I'll probably follow up again in a few days.

My husband has been very helpful with cooking meals and helping to clean up the house.  I was thinking that he was coming around and being very supportive.  Then we wake up this morning and he makes a remark about me being lazy, and I'm using any excuse not to have to do anything.  Yeah, I guess trying to prevent another premature baby is "any excuse".....  I am so pissed off.  I told him to keep his stupid comments to himself, so now he isn't speaking to me.  And - he stayed home from work today, oh joy!

Running out of patience

So I'm feeling my patience running very thin, with both my husband and son.   With my son, it all has to do with potty training.  We've been battling pooping on the potty for quite some time.  He finally seemed to "get it" a couple months ago, but we'll go through stints where he won't poop for a few days, and then will attempt to hold it in when he does have to go.  So we go through quite a few smears in the underpants and tons of time sitting on the potty with him battling me the whole way.  The thing is, he knows how to go poop on the potty, he has done it plenty of times.  I don't understand why it has to be such a struggle, and with me being on bedrest, it is totally stressing me out to have to deal with this.  My husband is no help - he just says "let him go in his pants."  I totally disagree with that strategy, and Nathan will tell us most of the time that he has to go.  Frustrating!!

I've been dealing with my insurance company on a few issues as well - tons of fun let me tell you!  Turns out that my maternal fetal medicine specialist is out-of-network, so they won't cover that visit, and the hospital with the NICU is also out-of-network.  Fantastic!  Of course, I'm hopeful that I won't have to deliver there, but it is a very real possibility that I might.  The insurance rep was very courteous and educated me on gap exceptions that can be obtained prior - but that means I have to make plenty of phone calls, etc. in order to coordinate this.  What is really frustrating is that I am enrolled in the Healthy Pregnancy program and have a case manager assigned by the insurance company since I'm high risk.  The case management program is supposed to assist with coordination of care - except that they don't.  What the hell?  I really don't need extra phone calls to brief an additional person on my pregnancy status if they aren't going to assist me with anything!  What exactly do they consider "coordinating care?"

Guess I should start the phone calls....

Bedrest

My ultrasound on January 3rd didn't go so well.  My cervix had shortened to 2.3cm with funneling.  Dr immediately took me off work until further notice.  At only 21 weeks, that is a very long time to be off of work!  We did another check this past Thursday the 10th which was improved to 2.7cm with no funneling.  My doc seems to think the funneling was due to cramping at the time which put pressure on the area.  I'm now 23 weeks today.  My goal is to make it past 32 weeks, so 9 more to go!  Doctor said that if I have 2 more good ultrasounds, there is a possibility that she may send me back to work.  This would be a good thing if there is a strong caseload at work to keep my hours decent, but that hasn't been the case for the entire month of December and so far not looking good in January.  My bonus has been cut in half and we just got word that there will be no consideration of merit raises until June.  Looks like  I'll be attempting to find another job after this baby is born.

I'm hoping that with attempts to rest as much as possible (which isn't much, even at home) that I can keep this baby safe and snug and prevent another stay in the NICU.  I'm finding it very difficult to stay off my feet.  Definitely hard to do with a 3 year old running around, and I still have to shuttle him to his activities, preschool, etc.  I'm trying to make more crockpot recipes to prevent having to be on my feet too long in the kitchen, but dishes drive me crazy - so those must be done....  At least my bedrest orders aren't extremely strict at this point and I do have permission to get up and move around.  I would hate to be hospitalized!  I've heard some women can be hospitalized for a few months prior to delivery with certain conditions....how horrible!  The things we women go through to keep our little ones safe :)  It's a good thing men don't give birth - I know there is no way my husband could deal with this.

Been a long time

My last post was pre-baby #1.  I ended up having Nathan early - 14 weeks early....  We had a long road in the NICU, but he made it and is now a happy healthy 3 year old!  The builder that I spoke of in the last post did end up building our new house, but it took a while and we ended up staying at my mother-in-laws house for nearly a year.  Not quite how I imagined things would go.

Fast forward to present - I'm now almost 22 weeks pregnant with baby #2 (another boy).  I've already had a few complications this pregnancy and am anticipating that my doctor will most likely put me on bedrest at some point to prevent preterm labor.  Definitely don't want to have another preemie and go through what we did last time.

I haven't been able to workout during this pregnancy, things have been pretty busy and I'm supposed to be taking it easy.  I did get back into running the past year and ran a 10K on the 4th of July - which felt pretty great to accomplish!  I had also dropped my weight down quite a bit.  My new years resolution this year is to get back down to pre-baby weight by the end of 2013.  Baby is due on May 12th, so that will give me plenty of time :)

The job has been very rocky since November - my company has made a lot of cutbacks, to include my hours.  I haven't worked at all this week - but I'm trying not to stress out too much about it.  Our caseload is next to nothing, but hopefully it will pick up really soon.  The unfortunate thing is that most places aren't going to want to hire a pregnant woman, even for PRN work.  So I think I'm pretty much stuck until this baby is born.  I've been praying quite a bit that we'll get through whatever financial bumps in the road are ahead.

Speaking of praying - this year I went back to church.  I'd been away from the Catholic church for years, for many reasons.  Although some of my spiritual beliefs aren't exactly what the catholic church teaches - I still think the church has a lot to offer and decided to take Nathan and introduce him to the church.  He goes to the catechism class and got baptized on Dec 29th. 

My plan is to continue posting - over 3 years has been too long!  Not sure anyone will read this, but it feels good to put things down in writing.