Today has gone pretty well. I woke up later than I wanted to, but got in quite a bit of studying for Saturday's exam and ran 3.5 miles. My diet went just fine...I haven't felt hungry at all which is definitely a good thing. I took in a little over 1200 calories today. I weighed in this morning at the heaviest I've been in my entire life - 184.4. How totally depressing. And the weird thing is that I put that weight on fast...it's only been 2 1/2 months. I have no idea if the fact that I went of my BC has anything to do with it because I still ate like crap.
I have set goals to be back to my norm of 170 by march and hopefully reach 150 by May. I'll be following the Marathoning for mortals training program and eating a good balance of protein/carbs every 3 hours. I know the diet will work - the last time I did it I lost 16lbs. Of course with my training program I will incorporate weight training and yoga for my cross training options. I didn't do this last year and made all sorts of excuses for it. I need to get some of my military determination running through my blood again....what has happened to me? I don't feel like myself at all. I miss my old self. I used to be so driven that nothing would stand in my way - and I mean nothing. I also used to be really spiritual - where has that gone?
I can't wait for this exam to be done. I am so stressed out that my hair has been falling out in clumps the past few weeks! I'll know my results on Jan 16th. By the way - I am so tired of saying "when I get through this, or after that...things will be better" What a bunch of bullshit. Things only get better when you decide to make them better yourself, through your own actions.
I feel good about today, and if the old Julie has anything to say about it - tomorrow will be even better.
I hear ya J. Don't fret, life happens. We all sort of ease into this daily groove, where all you have time for is getting up, getting to work or school and then coming home exhausted. Then we party hardy on the weekends. I feel old and tired. But I also take heart in the fact that I am freer at this age to do pretty much anything I want than at any other time in my life.
ReplyDeleteI also used to be more spiritual and grounded. Now life is just more about find a few moments of joy in a life full of obligations. But we can take it back. You are taking the first steps toward that by getting your education, a career and setting running goals. A believe me, you can find spirituality in running.